There had better be a dam cure under that tree.

There's been so many changes since Fibro.  I never used to curse, a symptom AND side effect of Fibro, I used to be a different person, I used to work out, and guess what?  I used to enjoy Christmas, too!  Isn't that amazing?  No, I really did.  Ya know, back when it didn't hurt?  Lack of sleep is working its fun little magic on me.  Stayed up until three cleaning the dang, freaking house.  Family's coming over today, and yesterday really was the first chance we had to clean it.  It's still not even close!  This is what happens when you have four small kids and a freaking, stupid disease.  I wish we got tornadoes in Idaho, at least I could explain my house!  Cleaning hurts.  Lack of sleep hurts.  The shopping I still have to do hurts.  The wrapping will hurt.  Taking a shower will hurt.  Pretending I'm fine, happy and having a good time will hurt.  It all frickin' hurts, m'kay?  It's REALLY, REALLY hard to feel the Christmas spirit when you wanna punch someone in the face.  Really hard.  I want to sleep, that's all.  I don't wanna do any of it, do I have to?  Please don't make me.  :(  It hurts.

I really don't wanna hear, "but it's Christmas!  Ya can't be in a bad mood!"  It has nothing to do with being in a bad mood!  It has to do with the fact that I have a migraine, that my muscles, every single one of them, are on fire!  Sharp, stabbing, pain.  In every single part of my body, do ya understand that?  Not a bad mood, I am sick.  There is a difference.  Let me run you over with a bus, and ask you to be in a good mood.  Don't ya dare tell me to change my attitude.  It's a disease, not a state of mind.  I don't feel well, ever, but today, with the extra stress, you can kiss my painful arse, got it?  Good.  Merry Christmas.

I do, I really do, got it?