I'm an over-reactor.

I am guilty of over-reacting.  One, I'm a woman, two, I'm a woman, and three, I have Fibromyalgia.  It's REALLY hard to bite your tongue when you're in pain.  Especially when stupid people always seem to find their way to you.  No matter where you go, they're everywhere.  There's an epidemic, I'm convinced it's something in the water.  I have a really hard time not being blunt.  Believe it or not, I've actually become so much better, too.  There was nothing I wouldn't lash out at.  There was nothing I held back.  My husband is the most laid back person I know.  You could send the man to the Middle East, and he'd have them all laughing, signing a peace treaty.  Send me there, we'd nuke the world.  I totally have anger issues, there's no denying that.  I have no problem admitting my faults.  THAT I can do, and I don't understand people who find themselves faultless.  It's those people who really get my blood boiling.

I fart in the aisle and move really fast, so if someone comes down my aisle, they can't associate it with me.  I get "road rage" at Wal-Mart.  I have serious anger issues.  I have no problem admitting I have problems or that I'm humanly flawed.  When thinking about upcoming issues, I will go straight to worst case scenario.  I know a lot of people with Fibromyalgia are this way.  It's a proven fact that most people with Fibromyalgia are type A personalities.  That means we're perfectionists, we love order, we love cleanliness, we love to think, we're analyzers, and  we love getting to the point.  We have a hard time relaxing and enjoying ourselves.  We're always thinking.  Thinking's great 'n all, but there is such a thing as over thinking.  It can't be healthy to always jump to worse case scenario.  It can't be healthy to think that much!  I hardly sleep 'cause my brain is still thinking!  It gives me insomnia, but once I do fall asleep, my brain is still going.  My dreams are SO incredibly intense.  I act them out.  I sleep walk like there's no tomorrow.  It's a whirring machine.  I wish I could channel it for good. Alas, I cannot.  I have not been able to channel it towards anything but putting my foot in my mouth.  Can't seem to stop doing that.  Have you seen the movie "You've got mail"?  Meg Ryan tells Tom Hanks she wishes she knew what to say at the right moment.  When she is finally able to say the right thing at the right time, she regrets saying it.  Suddenly saying what she meant to say, at the moment she wanted to, felt awful.  There are times I do regret saying what I do.  My mouth just opens and spills the first thing on my brain.  Whether I mean it or not, whether I've had time to think about it or not, there it is.  I have become so much better at this.  My husband has been teaching me a lot, I'm just not where I want to be, yet.

Rude people are so infuriating.  I will never understand the need to belittle someone to make yourself feel better.  I will never understand GIVING your opinion when it wasn't asked for, especially when it's negative and or condescending.  This is so hard to avoid when you have family.  :)  Right, who's family does that?  ;)  Weird, I know.  I am trying to learn, but I'm not perfect.  No family is worth keeping around when they're that toxic, though.  I am finally, finally learning this.  You can love your family, have your civil conversations, but there is no need to ask for a good insult.  I've bit my tongue thus far, for my husband's sake, and for everyone else's.  It ain't worth it.  I have a disease.  Family has made my disease worse.  I've given myself a stomach ulcer from a certain rude family member.  It SO ain't worth it.  If I'm important enough to have in your life, you would have treated me better.  Actions speak far louder than words, um, the rude words which you've given me anyways.... he he.  Yeah, there.  See?  Hahahahah, oh mercy.  What I'm trying to say is this; I won't be rude to you.  If you're nice to me, I will be ferociously nice to you.  I'll love you with all my heart.  I love fiercely.  Treat me unkindly, and oh, honey, the claws are comin' out.  I am a very passionate person.  I am passionate in all I do.  My relationships are no different.  I love and hate strongly.  I already deal with a pain in the as*.  Fibromyalgia.  I don't have the patience should you treat me unkindly.  

Eh, just another side of me.  :)