No one likes exercise. I get that. Unless you're one of those weirdos, you're like most people. It's not fun. But unless you're someone like me, you don't get my relationship with exercise. When I say "like me," I mean chronically ill. Fibromyalgia and M.S. makes exercise beastly.
My mom is Israeli. I say that to give you an idea of how I was raised. She was born and raised in a country that really doesn't do a whole lot of sugar. You walk everywhere. Foods are yummy Middle Eastern stuff with lots of healthy oils, beans and vegetables. So the idea of eating junk food and being sedentary are kinda bizarre. She raised us to be the same way. Man, we were outside playing all day. We ran everywhere to play with friends. Walking to the gas station from my house, a good few miles, was no big deal. We did it all the time. I was a super active kid. We also never ate crap. It was complex carbs, lean proteins and vegetables. We thought mamma was mean when our friends ate nothing but super colorful, crazily sugared cereals and pop tarts! It sucked then, I won't lie, but what a gift she gave us. None of my siblings are really into junk food now. We'll take healthy food any day. We feel gross if we're sedentary, and it usually moves us into action.
Fast forward some time. As a teenager I exercised daily. Taking pride in the way I looked was important to me, but I just felt better whenever I did. Health was important as a child, and it was even more important as a teenager.
Fast forward some more, and add Multiple Sclerosis. Ugh, what a butt head. Exercise never felt good, but it never felt bad, either. I've dealt with severe IBS since I was about five years old. Fibromyalgia since I was a tween. It never felt good while I was exercising, but like I said, it never felt bad. Even with years of doing it though, I never felt like it was routine or that I enjoyed it more as time went on. But you add M.S., and forget it! When I was newly diagnosed, I looked up ways to stop progression. Exercise was the only thing I could find. Okay. So I'll just exercise. Or not. You never have the motivation because you're so dang tired all the time, and you're already hurting! But I'd do it anyways. Just walking. Put one foot in front of the other. Even if I start out at just five minutes at a time. Coordination and balance are huge issues with M.S. If that sounds easy, you don't have M.S. I wobble, and I start walking crooked, unable to walk straight. My knees start aching, and my chest gets tight. I feel lightheaded and dizzy. I feel sick to my stomach and wanna hurl. Sounds like a serious boot camp, huh? Nope, just a short, light pace walk. Walking around Wal-Mart does the same thing. Just any physical exertion for too long will do this. If Adam takes too long at Wal-Mart, I go sit on one of their benches and wait until he's done. I know where all Wal-Mart benches are located.
So what am I doing wrong? Maybe I'm not eating right. Nope. I eat well. No sugars, like, any. No processed junk. Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. Nope. Plenty there. Supplements? Taking those, and of high quality, too. I'm doing everything I should be doing, and I still feel this way. Fighting disease is just the pits. I'm slowly trying to accept that it'll never be the same. That even getting a ten minute walk a day in will always be a struggle, and with M.S. being progressive, it'll just get worse.
I just got done with my walk. I made it seventeen minutes! Woo, go me! It was hard, and it kicked my butt. But dangit, I'm doing it! M.S. can just kiss my dimpled buns.
