It's just too fun, these cycles.

I saw this picture on Facebook, and I'm gonna base the entire excerpt around this picture.  I just wrote about chronic pain feeling, and looking like bipolar disorder.  This is why.  I tried to put in words what happens, and this picture sums it up best.  Well, as if you already couldn't tell, I write when I feel sad, angry, and just frustrated about Fibromyalgia and Multiple Sclerosis.  Why would this one be any different?  :)  When I'm not writing, I'm usually happy and feeling well.  When I write, it's because I need the therapeutic effects of writing.

I am on my freaking period.  We'll just get that out of the way.  That should explain half of it.  I am so hormonally imbalanced, (I mean the sex hormones, not mentally.  Although... :) my periods are from Satan.  Personally.  I get so emotional.  So sad.  So depressed.  Like I said, half the problem right there.  Then we're living with my parents for a while.  That's gotta be the other half.  We moved into my parents basement while my husband looks for a job, and so we can house hunt.  You should never live with family.  The end.

My parents live in Utah.  If you live in Utah, or like Utah, I apologize for what I say.  I hate Utah.  I hate the weather, I hate the landscape, I hate the people.  Most of all I hate the people.  They're clickish, judgmental, snobbish, and the world's worst drivers.  I HATE Utah.  I moved here to get help from family.  My M.S. is so bad, I need all the help I can get.  My mom is here, who's a nurse, not to mention my mom, and then I have baby sister.  She is my life.  When she's not helping, she's making me happy, making me laugh.  If there's anything I need as much as help, it's laughter.  So here we are.  Hating everything around us, but my sister's amazing company.  No job, no house, living with my parents, mother nature, and to make matters worse, sister and mamma are leaving for Paris, France tonight.  Then they go to Italy and then Israel.  Am I pissed?  Yeah, you could say that.  My sister is twelve years younger than me.  I've waited for a trip like this twelve years longer than she has.  I've never been anywhere.  Not to mention I am so stressed out, life has sucked so bad my entire life, I could REALLY use a vacation.  I have never been on a vacation in my life.  Sure, my parents took us occasionally to places.  It doesn't count when you're a kid.  You don't even wanna go, and you're just dragged along, fighting with siblings the entire time.  Those don't count.  I have never been on a vacation in my entire adult life.  Two dumb diseases, four kids, and five years of college later, I'd say it's definitely overdue.  Yet baby sister's going.  Not fair.  I'm excited for her, yes, no doubt, but I'm also bitter about it.  I should be going, too.  The other crap side of that is that she'll also be gone for five weeks.  What in the heck will I do for five weeks?  I'm gonna be so bored!  I barely move here, because I wanted to be closer to her, and she's taking off for five weeks.  Dumb... so yeah, today's been great.  Hubby needs to get a job and a house.  Like yesterday.  So stressed, so sad, so ready to be in the next stage of life.  Don't know how much more of this I can do.  The emotional cycle of M.S. sucks butt.

Anywho, there's muh rant.  I wish I could say I feel better, but I don't.  Wish I could get some chocolate, but without a job, chocolate doesn't grow on trees.  Wait... he he.  Can't even get a bar of chocolate.  Ech, okay, well, yeah.  So that's what it's about.  It's too bad my kids destroyed my body.  I'd flash Bill Gates some boobs right now.  He might give me some chocolate.