Suga, suga.

One word: sugar.  Sugar, sugar, sugar.  I am going to tell you yet another dirty secret about me.  I am addicted to sugar.  When I say this, I want you to understand what this means.  When you think of an addict, you think of drugs or alcohol.  I want you to know that I have been addicted to very, very strong drugs.  I have been prescribed very strong stuff in the past.  Pain killers and Meth?  No problem.  I could get off those easily, and I did.  A few times.  Sugar?  This is the hardest drug I have ever tried to get off of, hands down.  You know how addicting Meth and pain killers are.  I've been prescribed both in the past, and have found it easier to get off those than I can sugar.  I am an all or nothing kind of person, and I have a very addictive personality.  I will either stop something cold turkey, or I won't do it at all, I'll continue on the way I've been.  I have been trying to quit sugar for years.  I know this may sound funny, it's just food, it's not like it's Heroin or something.  Wrong.  Wrong, wrong, dead wrong.  If you know anything about me by now, you know that I research the bejebbers out of everything.  That's right, sugar, too.  Did you know that sugar has the exact same neurological effects on the brain that all addicting drugs do?  That's right, studies have PROVEN that sugar has the same response to the brain.  Sugar releases endorphin's.  Endorphin's are opiate's.  Ever heard of the word?  Right, in drugs.  Opiates are in pain killers.  The reason people become addicted to opiates is because they feel good.  Endorphin's, aka opiates, are responsible for the feel good hormones.  Why does an orgasm feel so good?  Opiates.  Why do pain killers feel so good?  Opiates.  Why does chocolate feel so good?  Opiates.  Opiates/endorphin's, are the hormones responsible for relieving pain and create the feeling of euphoria.  Sounds awesome, right?  Yes, that's why people get addicted to opiates.  Did you know that sugar releases endorphin's?  Mmmm, we're on to something here.  When I say I am addicted to sugar, I say this in all seriousness; I am addicted to a strong drug.  Sugar is such a big deal, there's been talk about regulating it, like alcohol and tobacco.  I know you're still probably thinking, "it's JUST sugar!"  And weed is just a plant.  :)  Alcohol is just a grain.  I know, right?  Exactly.  Excessive quantities of anything is extremely toxic to the human body.  Yes, even if it is natural.  Sugar robs you of essential vitamins, and is the main cause of many, many diseases.  Sugar, when it was first discovered, WAS used as a drug.  Sugar cane was not even used for sugar.  It was highly sought after for it's opiate side effects.  Do your research on sugar.  Understand that it's a proven drug.  Understand it's extremely toxic for your body.  Understand all the side effects sugar causes.  Once you understand, and have a deep understanding of sugar, you will understand how dead serious I am when I say I'm addicted to sugar, and how bad this is for me.  

I told you before Fibromyalgia ruined my life I was working for a chiropractor.  He recently suggested we try a yeast free diet.  Yeast, as you know, eats sugar.  Yeast, as you know, shouldn't be in our bodies.  Yeast is extremely toxic for our bodies.  I've been hearing of the yeast free diet for years.  It's just common sense.  We all have fungus inside of us.  We need good bacteria in order to function.  Well, what happens when you feed sugar to yeast?  It's not rocket science, seriously, make bread, whatever, go feed yeast sugar.  Ahhh, the yeast grows.  'Cause what?  Yay!  That's right, yeast eats sugar.  If it's happening in your kitchen, why wouldn't it be happening in your body?  So many people are just filled with yeast, myself included.  I knew this would make everything better, but hello, addicted to sugar.  I heard about this diet as early as ten years ago.  It didn't apply to me, though, 'cause sugar's good.  :)  That would mean giving up sugar, something I wasn't ready for.  I did try giving up sugar about a year ago.  It's like any addict.  I tried.  It lasted about 6 hours.  I was so desperately craving my drug, I ran out and bout $65 worth of sugar from the bakery.  Physically, mentally, psychologically, I was no different than a Meth addict.  I felt the physical withdrawal from sugar so strong, I was out looking for my next hit.  I would have committed murder for sugar, dead serious.  It was lucky, or unlucky, really, that sugar wasn't a controlled substance.  I would have stopped at nothing to have it.  Many people have suggested that maybe my pain and Fibromyalgia were caused by a yeast overgrowth and sugar.  I can assure you, while I know it's made everything worse, it was not the cause.  Just four years ago, I was a completely different person.  My severe sugar addiction didn't start until only a couple of years ago.  I've had Fibromyalgia for far longer than that.  Before this sugar addiction, I was a health nut, no joke.  It's amazing how night and day the difference is.  All through high school and up until just a few years ago, I wanted to be a nutritionist.  I worked out, at the least, an hour a day, and ate like a rabbit.  Small portions, and very, very green.  Insert Fibromyalgia.  Fibro's what caused my sugar addiction.  I was looking for anything that would give me more energy, make me feel better.  Of course we know bad eating won't give you energy, but try telling that to the sick lady with four kids 5 and under.  I did what I had to in order to survive.  I don't need to survive anymore.  Now, I need to thrive.  My baby will be two this year, school's over.  No more making babies or going to school.  Things are starting to get better.  It only makes sense that we come out of survival mode and enter thrival mode.  So enter thival mode we did.  My husband finally put me on the yeast free diet.  I am finally to the point where my health is so bad, I am bed ridden.  I can't cook, I can't clean, the days I can take a shower are a big accomplishment.  The days I take a shower unassisted are an even bigger accomplishment.  Do I think a diet can cure M.S., or Fibromyalgia?  No.  Do I think it can make a helluva difference?  Yes.  We knew that my sugar addiction would be very, very hard.  We knew what we were up against.  I couldn't go a day without sugar, we knew we were in for it.  We bought mini-sized Butterfingers, knowing we'd have to slowly wean this thing.  Sure enough, day one, although I ate ten times better than I normally do, I have to have some sugar.  The physical withdrawal was WORSE than the physical withdrawal of Meth for me.  Very severe, very real.  I only had two Butterfingers, which for me was a really big deal.  I woke up the next day feeling like I hadn't felt in years.  I felt good!  I couldn't believe it.  One day.  I had so much more energy, I was laughing again.  If you knew me, you'd know this was a big deal.  I don't laugh.  Not ever.  My pain is so high, there is nothing funny in this world.  I was laughing!  I stayed up until 3 in the morning, laughing and talking to my husband.  It was like it was the old me again.  I loved it!  We couldn't believe the difference.  My pain levels went down at least 95%, which was the biggest shocker of my life.  I'd rather give birth for the rest of my life than deal with the pain I deal with.  I woke up without a migraine, first time in years, AND I jumped out of bed.  I haven't jumped out of bed since I was 6.  What a ridiculous change.  With most people, my mom and husband included, it's normal to feel flu like the first few weeks.  Your body's releasing so many toxins into your bloodstream, of course you're going to feel worse before you feel better.  That's why everyone was so shocked that after only one day I felt like I could take on the world.  Only having that much sugar was killing me, though.  Yes, I felt good in that aspect, but I wanted to kill my husband from the lack of sugar.  I was mean.  Most addict's are incredibly mean when they're weaning.  One, we want it, but two, it's a VERY physical thing.  Anyone's gonna get nasty.  I was nicer giving birth than I am getting off of sugar.  So day two, still wanna kill the husband, but I'm feeling so much better.  Woke up for the second day in a row for the first time in years without a migraine.  That's an awesome way to start the day.  Doing okay, needed a little fix, so I had a couple of Butterfingers again.  Okay, still weaning off, still feeling better.  Come nightfall.  Oh, mercy.  You know I can't play X-Box, do Netflix or even play a freaking computer game without my munchies.  Bad, bad Rachelle.  What do I do?  Like any addict who's living with someone who's making them accountable, I sneak.  Yes, I'm dead serious.  The addiction is so strong, I knew I just couldn't do it any longer.  I ate a whole lot more than two Butterfingers.  I slipped behind my husband's back, put my dirty deed in my jacket, went back to playing my computer game.  I sure hoped like heck that my husband couldn't hear my crunching.  I tried everything to mask it.  It was sneaky, and I felt horrible doing it.  I knew he was making me quit sugar because he loved me.  Here I was sneaking behind his back, and I felt so guilty.  Once we were going to bed, laughing our heads off, I told him what I had done.  We laughed about it, 'cause really, it's kind of funny, and ridiculously stupid.  It was funny last night.  It was anything but funny this morning.  No one was laughing when I woke up VERY late.  I hate to sleep in from extreme exhaustion.  I really didn't find it funny when I woke up with the ever present migraine.  I had to lay in bed for half an hour before even attempting to get up.  My body was killing me.  All the pain back.  The migraine, plus joint and muscle pain.  There it was, back in its full glory.  After two days of waking up migraine and mostly pain free, imagine what a shock it was.  I've had diarrhea all day.  I know you didn't want to know that, but I want you to know how severe this really is.  I have IBS, that's common in Fibro.  The last two days, nothing.  IBS pain free.  Wake up today, non-stop crapping, cramping and extreme nausea.  I'm sweating like crazy, I'm dizzy, light-headed, and in so much pain.  Was sugar worth it?  Oh heyell no.  As much as this sucks, I am so grateful for the experience  though.  What an eye opener.  To feel that good for two days, then to feel like this again?  There is no food, no drug, that is worth feeling like this.  This is the turning point that many addicts have to come to before they can quit.  The realization of how much they're hurting themselves.  That was today.  Here I am, bed-ridden again, except for the times I need to run to the bathroom.  This is not worth it.  Sugar is not worth it.  I am worth it.  My health is worth it.  My life is worth it.  My family is worth it.  My family wants their wife and mom back.  I am so ready to give it to them.  I don't know the full extent of this diet, or what's going to happen, but if I can at least have two more days like the last two I've had, I'll do everything in my power to do it.  It's 8:00 at night.  Completely 100% sugar free for the day, and so proud of myself.  No, it hasn't been easy.  No, it doesn't mean I'm in the clear.  It means I'm handling this day, this hour, this moment.  I'm making a better me for the moment, and bless my Jewish, Italian genes, I am one incredibly stubborn woman.  I won't go down without a fight.  Bring it on, Sugar.

I seriously challenge you to do your research, Google "yeast free diet."  If you're serious about making changes, big or small, I promise you you won't regret it.